


read this to die instantly

by sjwbush



Category: Togainu no Chi
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Hand Jobs, M/M, Non-Consensual, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Strangulation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-30 11:05:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14495577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sjwbush/pseuds/sjwbush
Summary: Shiki does horrible things to Akiracw for non-con, but there's not really anything worse than the actual route





	read this to die instantly

**Author's Note:**

> stumbled across some togainu no chi LPs on youtube the other day and ended up watching the shiki/akira scenes like 5 times in a row
> 
> going through all the fics and doujins i could find they were either yaoi-hands garbage from before 2010 that totally romanticises the relationship or like... weren't really what i was after. but i was still thirsty for content
> 
> so i'm like yeah i can write a fanfic what's the issue. oh yeah the issue is i've never written fanfic in my life. i haven't even written any sort of fiction since i was like 15. so forgive me if it's kind of bad. i can also only vaguely remember the main plot and never really cared about it in the first place so details may be off
> 
> shiki is a pretty terrible guy (i still kind of want him to kill me a little though ngl)

Akira probably could have escaped already. There weren't any bars on the windows of the room, and the nightstand looked about heavy enough. All he'd have to do would throw the stand through. The window was already cracked. He was only one floor up. And he wouldn't have much of a chance of hurting his legs if he lowered himself carefully.

It was a fantasy that kept him from thinking about the reality of his situation, though considering it for a few minutes, another thought would always catch him. "Then what?"

What else was out there? Igura, and then outside of that there was the potential civil war. He was a wanted criminal on this side of the country, so he would have to try and defect, but from what he had heard, Nikkouren was hardly better than the CFC.

If you had enough money or connections you could get asylum there, but Akira had nothing but a couple of dog tags. He'd have to evade the military police too, there was no way he could trust just anyone who offered him a visa. There were bound to be CFC spies everywhere, and there was no chance he'd be let through the gaps. The complexity of the situation was overwhelming.

He decided to put his mind on something else, trying to reminisce on some memories from his past, but he just thought about Keisuke again, lying on the rain-soaked concrete. The image made Akira nauseous. Was he still lying there? How many days had it even been?

He curled up on the damp sheets he had been lying on and tried to think about nothing at all instead, staring out the cracked window with his head to the side for a while, before falling asleep like that.

He was already half awake, when he heard footsteps and the sound of the door unlocking. It was already dark. He kept his head down, shut his eyes and pretended to still be sleeping, when he heard the door shut behind him, and the click of the light switch.

Akira could see the new light through his closed eyelids, dyeing his vision red, and reflexively squinted. The footsteps stopped. Shiki must have just been standing, watching him. Perhaps he knew Akira was faking it, and was waiting for him to look up. Or maybe he got some kind of sick pleasure out of watching Akira sleep like that. Even though he couldn't see, he could almost feel Shiki's gaze boring into him. It was a violating feeling.

Frustrated, he turned his head to see what was going on. 

Shiki was actually not looking at Akira at all, he seemed to have instead been examining his sword, wiping it with a cloth Akira remembered had been on the nightstand. He felt relieved for a second before Shiki caught his gaze.

"Get up."

Shiki really was looking at him now. He set his sword down in the corner. Akira looked away and remained in place, ignoring Shiki's order.

"Or do you want me to ravish you there, is that it?"

Akira looked back at Shiki for a second, who's lips were curled up just to make a slight smile. Gross. Akira decided this obvious provocation probably wasn't worth responding to and again, stayed as he was. It prompted Shiki to pull him up by his collar and shove him off the bed and on to the floor.

Of course, Akira knew he could never have really avoided this. It was the only reason Shiki was here. But the idea of not putting up at least some resistance felt insulting. Akira had been left in a sort of kneeling position, back facing the bed. As he tried to get up, Shiki pinned him in place with his foot. The pressure against his chest was painful and made breathing difficult, but he looked up to face Shiki.

"Get the fuck off me!"

Shiki pushed harder. Akira was clawing at his boot, trying to at least get some space to breathe. 

"You don't get to decide what I do to you."

Shiki said it without any emotion, as if it was some kind of irrefutable fact. The certainty in Shiki's voice and his own inability to breathe was making Akira's head begin to feel cloudy. Shiki took the pressure off for a second, then pressed against Akira's torso again, lighter. Shiki's heel caught on his navel, still swollen from the piercing. He dug in a little, seemingly looking for Akira's reaction. It wasn't entirely unpleasant.

The sensation of his t-shirt fabric rubbing against the mostly healed wound felt satisfying more than anything. The feeling of dread that radiated around Shiki began to melt away for a second, and he began to feel a general sensation of heat.

Wait, what?

This wasn't right. He couldn't let Shiki humiliate him like that again. He had been looking up at him with glassy eyes for a good moment and looked down in shame as soon as he caught himself drifting away. He got up off the floor using the bed as a lever, and pushed himself back so he was sitting on the bed again. Shiki just watched him, not interfering, with another semi-smile. He had probably realised why Akira had freaked out.

Every time Shiki tormented him in that way it was like someone was stirring around in brain with a fork, totally ebbing away at any sense of self he had built up. The thought of everything Shiki had done to him so far made him feel dizzy again. Shiki was on the bed now, but Akira hadn't even noticed him move. He was still caught up in trying to gather his senses when Shiki pushed him down.

"I said get the fuck off!"

The thud against the sheets had brought him to awareness again and he glared at Shiki. Akira had tried to push him away, but he had caught Akira's arms and pinned them up against the headboard. Shiki just held him there for a moment, probably enjoying the sight of Akira struggling under him. Akira couldn't help but notice how pretty Shiki looked up close. If he hadn't been so tall, he would probably be easily mistaken for a woman. His face was almost doll-like, and his red eyes caught the light well. Before he had time to finish the thought Shiki's face disappeared from view. 

He was nibbling slightly at Akira's ear, breathing onto his neck. It was obvious the intention wasn't any sort of real intimacy. Shiki was doing it to amplify his feeling of powerlessness, that was all. There was nothing Akira could do as Shiki pushed up his shirt and started undoing his belt. He was caressing his chest and playing with his nipples. This wasn't the first time Shiki had done it to him, but it still hurt his pride to be touched in that way. Akira winced.

Shiki's knee was pressing up against his crotch. His breath hitched a little. Shiki then moved on to his piercing, pulling at it lightly until it bled again. It didn't feel bad, as much as Akira pained himself admitting it. In fact the sensory cacophony of it all overwhelmed him. Akira was feverish. Shiki had let go of his arms a while ago but he had forgotten he even could move them, lost in the feeling.

"Losing your mind when you're being hurt like that- you're seriously depraved."

Shiki's words were like ice water against his face. He hadn't been enjoying it. Whatever physical reaction Shiki coaxed out of him didn't really count as enjoyment. It was just torture.

But the comment had still seriously riled Akira up, and he tried to resist again, using his now free arms to sit up and lean against the headboard. He realised he had made a mistake, and Shiki could only corner him easier in this position. Not that it mattered, since Shiki slapped him across the face anyway. The mixture of arousal and sharp pain felt strange, like an electric shock in his abdomen.

Shiki used one hand to grab his jaw and the other started jerking him off, gently at first. He had been hard for a while, as much as the thought of it humiliated him. But it being acknowledged, even in this way, took some weight off his chest. 

"There's really no point in resisting. Don't you understand that?"

Shiki had moved the hand on Akira's jaw in order to squeezre down lightly on his neck. He was probably cutting off arteries because Akira felt even dizzier when Shiki's words bore into his mind. He shook his head, straining against Shiki's hand. He could have moved his arms and pushed Shiki away, but his denial was in name only. What if he just totally gave in? He couldn't say it wasn't inviting. Shiki's tone of voice was compelling, enough to make following his orders seem like the most attractive thing in the world.

The thought of letting Shiki take total control of his life and thoughts and actions seemed blissful in this moment. Igura, the civil war, the murder charge. If he gave himself up to Shiki he wouldn't have to think about any of it anymore. All he would have to do is listen to Shiki, deal with one person.

Maybe Shiki would just kill him. Perhaps the joy he found in keeping Akira here was only in seeing him struggle. But still...

Akira's thoughts were bubbling off as he began to lose consciousness. Shiki let go of his neck, caressing Akira's face instead, and started stroking his erection harder with his other hand. The oxygen running back into his lungs brought relief to the pain that had built up in his chest. At some point Shiki had lifted him onto his lap. He had lost all sense of reason, and was totally compliant in Shiki's arms.

He probably would have done anything Shiki had asked of him at that point. Shiki shoved two fingers into his mouth, roughly, and Akira did nothing but suck on them obediently. Resistance didn't even occur to him.

Finally, the pressure reached a peak and his body seized up. With bleary vision, he saw Shiki's red eyes and curved smile looking down at him, but was too dazed to process it. Shiki held up another gloved hand to Akira's face, fingers entering his slighly gaping mouth. He obeyed, for a second, not paying attention to the bitterness coating his tongue, before the waves of pleasure had dissipated and he realised what he was doing, and that he had been doing it for a while.

His eyes widened. A pit of shame formed in his stomach, and he started to struggle to get off Shiki. His clothes were a mess and his hair was clinging to his forehead with sweat. He at least managed to button up his pants before Shiki shoved him to the ground.

"You're a pathetic slut."

His voice was cold. It filled Akira with rage.

Shiki got up, and walked over to the bathroom. Akira fumbled, trying to stand and retaliate somehow, but Shiki instantly saw through him and kicked him, pressing him against the nightstand by his shoulder.

"Why, did you want another round?"

He was making that smug face at Akira again. Akira glared back. He couldn't stand Shiki's sincere delight in subjugating another person like that. Shiki removed his foot and let Akira slump to the floor.

Shiki quickly washed off his hands in the bathroom. When he entered the main room again, he said nothing, just took his sword, locked the door, and left.

Akira felt like he was going to throw up. He crawled back onto the bed and stared out the window, but it was still to dark to see anything but his reflection. All he could do was hope sleep would put his mind off it.

 

**Author's Note:**

> only bad feelings here folks. well, shiki is doing fine
> 
> he kinda ended up being a fascism metaphor instead of a real character whoops
> 
> it's like 1 am so i might not have caught every spelling/grammar mistake, so point it out i guess  
> (i don't really know how this site works)


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